Sent to the Yahoo! Group by Lauren

Last week I was privileged to be at a very special event with  Melissa.  Some of you might be familiar with the term A3 or Triple A.   It's a radio format.   A3 stations have been Melissa's most consistent and  staunchest supporters.  Some examples of A3 stations are KBCO in  Boulder/Denver, KFOG in San Francisco, WXRT in Chicago, the Mountain in Seattle,  KGSR in Austin, WXPN in Philly, etc.  For a list, go to  radioandrecords.com

Anyway, thanks to KBCO being in the forefront of creating the format,  Boulder is host to the annual A3 industry conference. 

 
Anyway, when reading through the program for this year's summit, I had noticed a panel sponsored by WF Leopold Management (note:  At the Yahoo! Group there was speculation that Melissa would be the announced mystery guest.  See the agenda - 2:00-3:30pm :-). 

 

Being the Melissa fan that I am (been a front row, traveling fan since 1990), I had blocked out the time to go, simply because Bill was involved. Then the day  before, I got an email from KBCO telling me that Melissa was going to be  appearing in Studio C.  Hot damn!  2+2=Melissa at the  conference.

Without sharing the blow by blow, it was quite easy to  be front row center in the hotel ballroom.  My fiancé, Karen, was with me, which was very cool.  There were maybe 100-150 people  there.  She talked for about half an hour, quite candidly, about her  experiences with cancer over the past year.  Very, very powerful  stuff.  (Details below.)  She finished up by performing a new song  from her upcoming GH release.  The song was called "This Is Not  Goodbye."  It's about how she would check out during chemo, but she wanted  her wife Tammy to know that she would be back. 
  
Here's some of what she said.  (I didn't take notes during the talk, but I did try to jot some stuff down later that  night.)

She didn't bother going over her career history, as all  of the people in the room already knew it.  Hell, they were the people who  helped to build her career!

She found the lump while on tour.  From her  subjective experience, one day there was nothing, the next day a big lump.   She played one or two more shows before flying home for a break.  She  showed Tammy on a Saturday.  Tammy insisted that she was going to the  doctor on Monday.

Not long after, they determined that it was  cancer.  She talked about the experience of everything just zooming into  focus and locking in.  I don't know if that makes sense, but I "got it"  sitting there in front of her.
  
She was supposed to go to Boston for some shows.   For a few days, she was in denial, thinking she'd do chemo between gigs and the like.  She called and told Bill.  They did a press release.  That  night, she and Tammy saw it on the news.  That in and of itself was really freaky.

There was a 4 cm tumor, which was removed, along with 15  nodes.  She's feeling good nowadays, and she has almost full range of  motion.  Fortunately, her strumming hand is all good, but the movement of  the left shoulder is the last to heal.

She talked multiple times throughout about knowing that  there was some gift, some lesson that would come out of all of this.

She did chemo every two weeks.  As anyone who has  done or been close to anyone in chemo knows, it was hell.  The first week,  she would absolutely crash.  The second week, she'd slowly start to  stabilize.  Then it was time to start all over again.

That's what "This Is Not Goodbye" is all about.   Tammy would see it in her eyes after the first treatment each time.  She  would check out.  The song is telling Tammy that it's not goodbye, she just  needs to check out to hang in there.  I thought the song was good but not  great (at least as a solo piece).  Other people were moved to tears.   I'm not often engaged upon first listening.  Only time and repeated listenings will tell.  

She talked at some length about her need to stay  absolutely still.  She talked about never having been able to do that in  her life before the cancer, but that the cancer/chemo forced it to  happen.  She found herself reliving every moment, every event of her  life.  It was clearly a very powerful place of personal growth and  reflection for her.

She talked about a male friend who's a big time  celebrity who had cancer.  She didn't say who it is, but my guess is Lance  Armstrong.  Anyway, he hooked her up to meet with his cancer doc.  The  doc specialized in prostate cancer, but apparently, it's not really all that  different.  She talked about going to see him and having a moment of gender identity crisis.  (I don't think it really was.  I think it was mostly  just a moment of levity in her talk.)  "I knew I was a dyke, but..."
 
She discussed diet at great length.  She learned  that acid is the precursor to cancerous cells.  Most Americans have a very  acidic diet.  She mentioned all of the acid reflux drugs and people's  stressful lives and poor diets.  She couldn't emphasize enough how  important it was to have a high alkaline diet - less coffee, less meat, less  sugar, etc.  More greens, more potatoes, etc. 

 
It helped me to  understand why people with cancer should be taking a product I sell called Osteo ProCare, as it's a highly alkaline substance.  Contact me if you  want to know more.

When she was really sick and struggling to eat anything,  someone on the set of "Committed"  told Tammy to give Melissa lemon water.  It surprised her, as lemon is  acid, but apparently, it really worked wonders.  She talked about asking  Steve (Girmant) to look it up on the internet and find out why.  She spoke  very lovingly of Steve and about how wonderful he was while she was laid  up.  Apparently he simply adapted to The Cancer Tour schedule.)

Needless to say, she said really wonderful things about  Tammy.  It was clearly a hard time for them, but it seems like it was  deeply bonding.   Early in the talk, she mentioned the surgeon talking to her about wigs and saying that nobody wants to see a bald rock star.  That  really stuck with her. (Note:  To quote Melissa on the NY Post: "I remember thinking, up yours, what if I want to be bald? Why should a doctor tell me how I should look because I might make other people uncomfortable?")

When they approached her about the Janis tribute with Joss Stone, those words rang in her ear and she considered wearing  a wig.  But when she saw the jacket that had been picked out for her,  she knew it wasn't going to happen.  She considered a scarf, but she  discarded that idea, as well.  (She said why, but I just don't  remember.)

Apparently, that night had a real impact.  People  from all walks of life have come up to her in the wake of that  performance.  Half of them don't even know who she is or realize that it  was the Grammy's.  They were just really moved by her showing up and  exposing herself in the way that she did.

 

She talked about how blown away she was about how  feminine she looked that night.  She expressed how she had always kept her  hair long out of fear of looking "too dykey."  She's now got a short,  blonde look (although her hair is really gray) that, IMO, looks fabulous on  her.  (LINK TO PHOTO.)  She  plans to keep it that way for a while.  It'll probably change eventually,  but she's finding it very liberating.

 

She told a great story about Beckett petting her short  hair one night at bedtime and telling her how it had helped her to become more  herself.  Very cool, that little boy.

On a lighter note, she expressed appreciation for the  great music played on Triple A stations.  She lamented that there isn't a  Triple A station in the LA market.  She talked about going online to look at  the playlists of Triple A stations in order to know what to put on her  iPod.  That's how she got turned on to Patty Griffin.  Speaking of  which, she's apparently got an upcoming special on Lifetime, which will include  a performance with none other than PG.

Oh, and for you fashion people, she had on ratty blue  jeans, a bulky belt buckle (don't remember what it was), old brown boots, and an  overshirt that said something on the back like "Lightning Doesn't Strike Once  Here.  It Strikes Twice."

Best of all, she looked well.  She looked fit and trim.  Many people in the audience were deeply moved.  It  was a special sharing.  Good for her.

 

Afterwards, she did a nice little meet and  greet.  By that time our almost 7 yr old son Andrew was with us.   Should make a nice picture for the family wall.  :-)  

Hope you enjoyed reading this.  It is an honor to  have been there and to be able to share with you all.

Lauren